The Screws of Doom – A DIY Network Horror Story

You know those little plastic wall plugs and microscopic screws that sometimes come bundled with network equipment? Yeah, the ones that look like they were designed for a dollhouse renovation. The moment you open the box, you already know they’re useless. The screws are made of some kind of metallic Play-Doh, and the plugs seem engineered to crumble into confetti the second they touch drywall. But hey, the manufacturer included them, so clearly they’re supposed to be "good enough," right? Spoiler alert: they are not.

I recently tried to humor a client by using a set while mounting a small switch, and it felt less like DIY and more like an exercise in emotional resilience. The plug disintegrated halfway into the wall like a vampire caught in sunlight, while the screw—despite my most delicate screwdriver finesse—instantly stripped itself into a sad, shiny cylinder. At one point, I considered using my teeth to turn the screw since it seems to be made of cheese. The only thing holding that switch in place was my pride, some lint, blood and a questionable amount of wishful thinking.

In the end, I abandoned the "official" hardware and dug through my stash of real screws, the kind forged from actual metal and not leftover tinfoil from someone’s lunch. The switch is now securely mounted, but I kept the original screws and plugs as a reminder. Not as backup hardware—oh no. They sit in a little jar on my desk, a tiny monument to frustration. Every time I see them, I smile and think: "At least I’m not trying to use those today."

And don't get me started on those patch cables you get with some equipment..

---

click on the image to attend another cool session